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Single Parenthood Liberation Theory One of the great challenges for single parents is when it's time to join the workforce. I'm not one to grasp the finer details of government policy or what benefits or credits are around at any particular time. It's never that clear whether you'll be better off doing this or not doing that – so many checks, balances, pros and cons exist. To examine every detail and to try to do a calculation can be to go down the road to madness. That's what job advisors do and you're supposed to trust them. As I've written before it's easy to generalise when talking about single parents. The 'typical' single parent I have in my head (and based on many I know) is battling all the time to keep their heads above the water. Hard economic realities mean that some may take the decision to do a bit of cash in hand work, some will depend on relatives to pay for treats or shoes for the kids or for a few days holiday. It's a constant financial struggle. When the moment comes to go into work (usually part-time) it can produce mixed feelings. There is fear. Fear that you'll be crap at the job, leading to humiliation and the sack. Fear that you'll be worse off, never mind what that nice job advisor you flirted with said. You'll feel guilt that you're abandoning your kids. But also, and maybe most importantly, there'll be the nervous excitement of a new challenge, even a new life, as new skills are learnt, hidden talents discovered, new friends made. Hopefully there'll be no turning back. Other benefits can include a greater appreciation of your kids – even their tantrums or bad moods will take on a certain charm. The road from full-time single parent to full-time worker is a long one. Once your children are in school you are suddenly faced with a lot more free time. If there was one piece of advice I'd give to those in this situation – do not succumb to the evils of daytime TV. In the words of the great Chuck D: 'Her brains retrained by a 24 inch remote Revolution a solution for all our children But all her children don't mean as much as the show I mean watch her worship the screen And fiend for a TV ad And it just makes me mad She watch Channel Zero!' Firstly look into doing some voluntary work. So many small, not-for-profit organisations are doing so much vital, unrecognised good work and giving a few hours of your time a week (with transport costs covered and maybe some lunch) will make a difference. In return you will get a feel for a workplace, pick up new skills, enjoy a relaxed and friendly atmosphere and experience a sense of good. Even your kids primary school really appreciates some help. One of my early volunteering experiences was to garden at my son's school. Many years later they now pay me – it's almost the perfect job. Other volunteering I've done includes on a city farm, some office and admin work (including the fantastic SPAN) and being a mentor. Another possibility is to do a course. Some are aimed at single parents, others are great for work skills and others are for the fun of it. They'll be free or cheap. Again new worlds can be opened up, new people met. Without IT courses I probably wouldn't be doing this. Doing a counselling course and a mentoring course led to my main job of support worker. Another slightly controversial possibility is not armed robbery but getting some cash-in-hand work (such as cleaning or gardening). I could never advocate law breaking but this option seems to be popular! An extra £30 or £40 a week can make a difference to your life. Another way of making use of this time is to just get out and explore and get to know your community and surroundings. Go for walks, talk to people, look around you. All this amounts to a kind of liberation theory of single parenthood. It keeps your mind, body and soul in good health and helps you to concentrate on being a good parent. As your confidence and experience builds up, maybe with a bit of gentle persuasion or arm twisting from others, you will then be ready for the next step of paid work. I think some recent government policy changes make doing voluntary work or a diversity of courses more difficult. If that's right it's a shame and what I've written refers to a 'golden age' that is no more. No matter. The principles remain the same. As Flavor Flav adds: Yo baby, can't you see that's nonsense you watchin'? Look, don't nobody look like that, nobody even live like that, you know what I'm sayin'? You watchin' garbage, not'in' but garbage. Straight up garbage. Yo, why don't you just back up from the TV, read a book or som'in. Read about yourself, learn your culture, you know what I'm sayin'?