WINTER INTO SPRING   First of all this is a renewal of my vows to this blog and to this website. I will even read other peoples' blogs (I won't have to pretend any more). As I've often been told - you don't stop being a parent. Since the last blog – and the dramatic breaking news of my son being thrown onto the mean streets of Bristol to fend for himself (I'm going to be good and not make any references to backstabbing in this blog) – all sorts of parenting related issues have returned. I've not found it easy so I don't know how my son has coped. The good news is that he's safe and well, with a (shed) roof over his head and managing to keep his job. His spirits are up; maybe a part of him is enjoying the adventure.   As a parent all your protective instincts flood back. The straightforward narrative of leave home/get job/hook up with others in a flat/have a good time etc is broken. The point is that as a parent there's no longer a lot you can do. There's plenty of middle class kids who are pampered (part of the problem in the ex-flat) but my son ain't one of them. There's no wad of money heading his way. Your parenting job now consists of giving advice, suggestions and guidance; being there on the phone or to meet up for coffee and a sandwich; and scraping together something for bus fare or dentist check up. How you see the situation won't necessarily be how your kid sees it. For example I talked to a work colleague about renting out a room thinking it was a solution but my son wasn't so sure and has his own ideas of what he wants, which is no bad thing.   In all of this (and echoing a previous blog) I am very grateful to my son's Mum. Despite having a big family and small house there was never any doubt my son could stay there as long as needed. She's helped him out with some flat searching and some ferrying about. He is sleeping in a shed (with heater) but is thankful he can stay in Bristol and keep his job. To return here to Portishead would mean the loss of his social network and the near impossibility of very early mornings and over 2 hours of bus travel a day. He paid a visit yesterday evening, appearing at 7.15, had plenty of grub, settled down for the football but by 8.30 he was asleep. He stayed over but was up at 5.45. Try doing that 5 days in a row!   So my son has come up against the housing issue – how difficult and expensive it is to find somewhere. The pitiful supply of social housing makes it impossible for young people to access it. Ironically it was my status as a single parent (and a period of homelessness) which meant I got very lucky. So he's facing the hit and miss and over-priced private sector. Having said that my son was paying a fair bit in the flat so it won't be too much more. At this point I'm going to put in my email address (which might get me in trouble) so anyone reading this (either of you) can let me know of any rooms out there or lodgers being sought. It's basticarter@btinternet.com.   My son's journey through the world of music continues its rollercoaster ride. Hunting Bears have already played 2 barnstorming gigs this year but due to exam commitments the singer has put things on hold until the summer. Then university will rear its ugly head and Hunting Bears could enter the realm of legends and what-might-have-been. Then, almost out of nowhere, the electronic duo Avenue (remember the name), featuring my son on electronics, produce an EP, complete with serious packaging, to hawk around various music people. (At this point I'd like to say I could get a copy out to anyone interested – see email address above). It's great stuff!   Finally for the first time properly, after the interval with a lodger, I have the home to myself. On the whole it feels good. Everything inside the flat is where I want it. I can do anything when I want to. After a tough January (partly weather, partly son anxiety) I look forward to the year ahead. I wonder if I've become a semi-recluse (I need persuasion to go for a drink) and whether that's good or bad. Do I want to get into a serious relationship? Bizarrely my love of gardening seems to have started returning. I've got stuck into my Nan's run down and neglected garden and loved every scratch and sting. So I've big plans. There's something deep and profound going on I hope. It's snowing outside so I'm off for a walk.